The cost of starting new is expensive. Getting the win means investment. Feeling good and making a life becomes investing in yourself. Translation: determine return on investment in self. Can you afford giving into the desires? Occasionally, greed.
New as in fresh or new as in completely different. Where is reinvent vs come alive as you were?
The cost of waking up isn’t just financial. It’s the appearance confusion. It’s the identity questions that weren’t there when you were numb. It’s the anger that surfaces when things don’t align. It’s the crush territory; wanting too much. It’s the loneliness that’s louder now because you’re awake enough to feel it.
When you were flat, none of that cost anything. There was nothing to want, so nothing to lose.
Waking up means wanting again. And wanting is expensive in every sense. The favorite Nike. Downsizing the carpenter jeans. Custom jewelry, custom weapon. Swash of color. Regular cuts. Replacement watch. Counter top egg cooker. Keene hiking boots and sox. Self care is planning for five crowns. Escape surrounds, holds like a comforting blanket; bathes with sound for the soul. Metal and leather, as comforting as fitted apparel.
Gratitude begins as desire. You want it to become discipline. A cost of repetition until it becomes who you are.
The swimsuit, pool, and padlock. The cost of waking up requires a combination. You have to know the sequence left then twice right, back left. Even then, sometimes the lock won’t open.
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