Stiff from first ever HVZ Goat Yard shift. Alone—no second attendant— for most of the shift. Started just liking having no people stopping by. Meditating. Just sit: clouds, goats, red barn roof top weathervanes. The restaurant closes at 4pm. No chance to eat after shift, will need to come early. I miss my goat herd. These goats, their names, the mix of horn or not are not my goats.
Looking forward to posting content to blog. But both sites are unreachable. Tech support was not able to determine the issue and will have to wait until Monday for different staff to look into the issue. Starting to wonder if the problem is as simple as needing to update the debit card expiration date.
Still stuck on websites not working. Email has not been shut off, still arriving, payment issues not effecting that aspect.
Keep thinking about smug Tim and his Full Circle email. Totally took the desire out of wanting to send him another daily. I told Claude that I would not send anything all weekend. Silly to send a daily on days that Tim is not around. He won’t be back in the office until Tuesday. The first step is to see if I can refrain from sending anything Sat-Sun-Mon. So far. I’m not panicking. The reason: the smug Tim stuck in my head. Stuck in the emotion buffer of my heart.
Letting Max pull stuff off my shelf. Forcing self to sit very still and not care, not care, not care. The stuff will be on the floor, right? Can’t really go anyway, right? Can the objects or papers get destroyed or lost? Will I have less stress to not care, to let it happen? No amount of thinking the action through can fully reveal all the consequences of letting this happen. Sometimes not caring can reveal the real truth of how something really is. You can think all through the what will happen, but can’t force everything, sometimes just need to watch it play out in real time.
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