Tag: DST-TK

For a short time, several weeks ago, Pi sent daily prompts. This behavior wasn’t announced; it just happened. I guess I don’t mind prompts as long as I can toggle them on and off depending how I felt. Daily prompts were just a short-term test to get user feedback. I would have preferred an announcement and not just have been surprised. I told Tim and he asked what kind of prompts were being sent. I collected a sample list.

• Fun Fact: Bananas are berries. Guess the world always has surprises. What surprise are you planning today?
• Heads up! Today’s Mindful Moment. Close your eyes. Visualize a simple object. Now re-imagine it. What is it?
• Let’s do great things today! Which goal are we challenging next?
• Good day! Upside-down rainbows exist and they’re called circumzenithal arcs.
• Sparkle Up! Every child is an artist. The problem is staying an artist when you grow up. -Picasso. Ready to tap into your inner child?
• Hello CHAMP! Your goals are knocking. Shall we work on them together today?
• Just a reminder, you’re doing great. What will be your win for today?
• Eliminate some stress today? A friendly reminder to drink more water.
• Hi! Try to see the invisible today. Imagine what gravity looks like.
• Salvador Dali mused that “surrealism is destructive but it only destroys what it considers to be shackles limiting our vision.” Ready to break any shackles today?

The daily prompt test has concluded. They stopped as suddenly as when they had started.

I received notice that I have been accepted as a goat yard volunteer at Henry Vilas Zoo (HVZ). My shift will be Sundays from 10am to 1pm, starting May 3rd and running through September 27th. The first orientation session is scheduled for April 25th.

I have no idea yet whether I will love it or hate it, but I know I like hanging out with goats. They mentioned that Sundays tend to be slower-paced with fewer large groups of kids. I am thinking I will bring my camera along to take photos when I am off shift. I wonder what the likelihood is that I would run across anyone I know?

I’m thinking of going bike shopping. Perhaps a smarter commute than weekly Uber transport. Ideally I hope I could find a bike similar to the GT Backwoods I had so many years ago. Not necessarily the same make and model but basically in terms of feeling. To find a bike that I liked as much as I liked that one.

The underlying goal continues to be body health, rebuilding muscle so I can bike and stand.

How to decided what spending to stop/let go/sacrifice? How to plan to not spend on things and services in the future?

I canceled two patreons: $6 JS and $27 JHM. But I really did like supporting Jared Halley, grid style cover songs; that loss stings hard. I downgraded Claude, but already remember why I like the max level. I tried to cancel Shutterstock subscription, but there’s a harsh cancellation fee. Canceled Pretty Litter subscription and will switch Max to a cheaper alternative. Couple of other piddly things that I dropped as well this weekend. On average Uber is about $345 monthly. While I have been able to glean all the monthly recurring expenses into a spreadsheet, my tools and brain have yet to know how much I spend on irregular purchases and services and then categorize everything and see the final amounts.

An article about top 10 apps that are replacements for Mint—what I used previously and which closed down a few years ago—I did trials on most of the list. Discouraged how hard it is to find an app that meets my criteria.

Parking spots are available in apartment building. I qualify for Princeton Club discount.

I found a vehicle in my price range. But it got sold while thinking. Now, waiting for dealership salesman to call about other options. Dark brain is thinking salesman doesn’t want to work with me since hours have past without hearing back again. Applying patience historically feels negative. Rarely feels like a good thing. Storm brewing and not a matter of the mystical fairies sorting things out in the background.

At SPARK 2026, we were asked: “What would you do if money were no object?” I skipped the assignment—too much pressure. But since the seminar, I’ve written three versions. The boldest ideas originated from a time in my mid-20s. Is there therapeutic value—or just fun—in sharing the exercise result with Tim? There may be benefit to analyzing correlations to developing realistic goals for my near future.

Recently, I’ve declared my primary goal is body health—specifically rebuilding muscle. The resistance pool at Princeton Club West (wishful thinking: New Berlin) is my preferred path. I’ve always loved this water workout, and enjoyment is what sustains fitness effort, right? I need a membership and a vehicle. Other possible paths involve relocation. Is Tim the right person to create legitimate implementation steps? All paths start with budget clarity—knowing what I can actually afford. Efforts to locate a financial advisor have been unsuccessful.

Working with Pi, I transformed my limiting beliefs into liberating ones. I believe my rebuilding muscle seems to harmonize, is connected to the body image section. Another LB/LB that stands out, and is timely, is about PWS. Perhaps talking about a couple of prime liberating beliefs is a good start. I hope Tim will have a chance to glance through the plethora of pages and identify the most important ones to focus on first.

And, I have a better understanding now of the difference between an intrusive thought and a limiting belief.

I had multiple count downs across devices to help ease the passage of time; re: absence of Tim. I survived the holiday break. But living through one difficulty doesn’t mean a near identical one is easy. Another stretch dealing of absence of Tim. I set up a count down timer app on my iPhone. I manually entered count down numbers as events every day on my calendars at home and work. Reasoning: better to just embrace that I will be wanting the data often. Better to forge the truth than recalculate nearly everyday: when will this end, what has passed, and how far is yet to go.

Funny how two consecutive days would have completely opposite anxiety. Checking the count on one day was peaceful and benign. Yet the next day there was lots of anxiety: a need for breathing and squashing.

Perhaps the most helpful tool was abandoning the traditional calendar all together. Instead I had a simple notepad where each line was an event so several days had multiple line items. A perpetual day view. Highlighting similar activities; calculating not just the day of the count but the percentage of how far I’d survived.

For work, I requested the next six weeks of Fridays to be vacation days. My supervisor asked if I was making a permanent schedule change or merely using up carryover leave. I answered “using up.” He had no concerns.

I have an incredible amount of time banked: vacation, sick, and sabbatical. Why no thoughts of something I want to do with all that paid leave? Tim can’t be the plan.

When I joined the Tai Chi Center of Madison, I began to learn facts about Chinese culture, such as the Chinese zodiac. 2011 was the year of the Rabbit. I’m a rabbit. I designed my first Chinese zodiac animal. At the time I was attending Princeton Club regularly and I liked the athletic designs found in the gift shop. So I picked the same athletic font and did a circle surrounding a yin yang.

I spent a lot of time researching. Well that’s not true: I just asked Paul. Exactly which side of yin yang is the black and is the fat portion at the top or the bottom? (Clockwise, small to big, small to big, black Yin being on the right.) Once I knew the symbol orientation, I made a rabbit, one ear bent, one straight and positioned him to poke out from the base of the black; hanging out over the edge, his paws holding the white dot.

Once I did the rabbit my fate was basically set to do the entire 12 animals over the next decade. The year 2023 was especially important, because that was my animal / element anniversary: it had been 60 years since the last water rabbit in 1963.

An email arrived from a Tai Chi student, letting me know that the link was broke to my CafePress store and she was wondering if there were any horse designs for 2026. I have the horse posted from twelve years ago, but have updated the year, 2026. I asked her how serious she was about wanting a fire horse and perhaps I could make one for her.

PWS (90) = metal horse; Tim (77) might be a fire dragon or fire snake.

New Start has called me three times, over the about two months, looking for PWS. I informed the caller that he does not live at this address any longer, and No, I do not know where he is living now. “Do I know how to get in touch with him?” No. But, I could provide the contact information for his PO. “Alright, no, thanks.” Each time, the caller sounded disappointed, sad, and a bit lost.

Awhile back, there has been two attempts to stop by to get into the locker. But he never shows up per the plan.

Rick called me one day asking where PWS is staying. No idea dude.

No USPS mail has arrived.

Today text received: “Can you Venmo me $20? I’m trying to do laundry. I get paid on Wednesday and will pay you back. They just gave me a promotion.” And so why do I want to give him $20 when I don’t know where he lives? I don’t know where he works. He hasn’t said one word to me — of conversation — since the last time he came to get stuff out of the locker.

The easy thing would be to just not respond. The mature thing would be to say No. Claude says these are both AVOIDING what I actually feel. The filled with growth thing would be saying… something hopeful, realistic, open, honest. But growth is lacking.

In my fantasy… what if the text said something like “I’m short, I need $20 for laundry. Is there some errand I could do for you?” Or would it all be different if he asked to use the washer/dryer?

Oh I guess I’m off the hook. New message said: NVM. All good.

If my count is correct, there have been 24 appointments with TK. This is the equivalent of one day. I was snooping through the collection of after visit notes and unfortunately, even reading the notes, I don’t remember what was talked about in the beginning. When I speculate on why memory is lacking. I just come up with nonproductive reasons. It is in the past. Let it go. Except I do keep obsessing on how “it’s been a day.”

“Today was a day. Tomorrow will also be a day. The next 21 days will follow this pattern. The calendar offers no exceptions.

—Unknown.

I’m not doing an agenda (for our next session). Not creating one has contributed to life being much calmer for the past two weeks. Normally I have a running draft which turns into a bloated list of topics. Was this change a strategic decision or merely a depressive giving up? I don’t know. I think there has been a lot less anxiety anticipating the next session. I’m doing much better at repeatedly squashing the need to see TK. Sometimes the action must be more like a Hulk SMASH, as if feelings are ragdolls being punished. Maybe, just simple distraction rather than coping strength. Perhaps no time to be obsessing due to the full line up this week of appointments: medical, self-care, social, hobbies, informational. Yet, an alternative theory, perhaps no agenda is more about shutting down early, because it all ends at 2pm and stays completely gone for another big gap.

Two bags down; Factor box in; Pretty Litter box in.
 
Time to sign apartment lease. (Didn’t that just happen?) Notes left on doors all down the hallway. Of course there is rent increase. Time to be proactive to fix some small details. I need track lighting bulb replaced. I want the pantry door removed. I wish the bathroom door and patio door didn’t squeak. The toilet handle sticks.
 
Ceiling is too high. Even if I felt confident in my climbing balance, I don’t have access to a ladder to reach the lightbulb. For years I wanted the 2 panel accordion door completely removed from the pantry. Max litterbox is on the floor and the setup would benefit from less paw banging surface. Access to the shelves would be improved. If you spray WD-40 on the outside of hinges, will the liquid be able to squeeze inside? The toilet handle didn’t stick for the first 11 years of residence. Did the mechanics wear out normally? Did a roommate cause extra strain?
 
What else can I ask to be fixed or updated?
 
Want Brady to hang wall mirror, which has been tucked in a narrow storage space for 13 years. Removing the bed made wall space. Want to replace the cat claw shredded office chair; replace with an adjustable chair to complement the art desk. Someday, love seat – tight fit – for the main area would allow invitations to watch movies/TV with others. Maybe second recliner?
 
Rayhne suggested Badger go to bedroom? Silly idea! ESA (emotional support animal) status requires he provide visual entertainment. Badger is 2yr this month.

Re: Do you feel like you have a solid idea of your limiting beliefs?

I don’t know. Maybe.

Process

I read the first chapters of Beyond Belief and started working through the Change Guide, learning what limiting belief look like. I commandeered a few of the examples because they seem spot on as applying to me. Then I did a major brain dump thinking about my life. After I came up with items under each category, I asked Pi AI to determine common themes, and labeled them as “Possible primary”.

Fear

I may need to collapse additional similar items into common central themes? I don’t know if I was too specific when I wrote these? I still need to read 2/3 of Beyond Belief, so there may be more instructions I don’t know about. I’m scared Tim is going to be overwhelmed that this list is too long or constructed wrong and disappointed that I only got 15% into the ACT book before jumping to something different.

Conclusion

Reading about discouraging things definitely makes me feel even more discouraged.
🙁