Sub-line should be FCKTY Fck Fck Fck
Packing. First duffle, not enough room in bedroom. Pick easy, fold/roll comforter. WAS grossed out at move in; now don’t wanta touch. Adding pillows. Should have been thrown out at move in. Gross now. Found the rubbery-dog-head-pet-hair-removal thing. PWS had said no idea where 5/6 were. Find 1/5: pile dirty laundry. FFFF. Why AM I doing this? Spiraling. Stubbornness. Told CTK I pack. Told PWS I pack. If stop, what does that say about me? The task now look overwhelming. I stubborn, mostly convicted I choose right path. Waffling. Downsize task by not doing laundry? What about mold? I am NOT going to wash 4gross p&c.
Maybe move all to main area, disassemble bed, stack on wall=make space to pack, and then store until storage locker is reorganized.
I don’t want to start entire decision process. Don’t want to talk. Maybe just one sox at a time, forward to done.
I’ve never had a best friend. I don’t want to ask Janet, seems undesirable. I’m ready to hire mover; but who would help take care of this shit? Reclaim the space. Reclaim my FCKing space. Can I just close the door, forever?
Art supplies in state of half organized. Months. Sometimes follow through just takes time/more time. How to let stubbornness plow faster, just get done. But how many months/years will I be stuck, even if packing done?
PWS, never going to see my side; going say fault for not “talking to him first.” Never say anything=unsustainable. Say something=months/years of aftermath