Feeling extremely depressed, lonely, and completely failing to answer the final question, “what are you looking forward to?”
- Realizing, this year, I want better than the Thanksgiving special at Perkins.
- COULD I invite myself to someone’s house for dinner?
- No, there’s absolutely no way.
- Why not? That would be crazy, stupid, embarrassing.
- Why not? Too vulnerable, fear of rejection.
- Merely as thought experiment, who would I ask?
- If I pick someone, how would this work?
- Think think think, wonder, think.
- Is Tim goin to say “amazing growth”? NO. I won’t allow that! I WILL thwack him! This idea is about depression, desperation, panic; I don’t want to be incredibly lonely for the holiday this year.
- Friday afternoon, reached out to co-worker, Tia.
- I said, “TKB I need you to be completely honest… I’ve been mega depressed lately… I want to invite myself to your house for dinner (Thanksgiving).
- She replies, “OH of course you can, I would LOVE for you to come, Yes come; I am so glad you asked.”
- TKB lives 4 hours north of Madison. She sent me the address, told me time of dinner.
- I’ve rented SUV. Shit, is THIS the craziest, stupidest idea ever?
- Hope Pregabalin lets me sleep on a bed.
- Ordered auto feeder for Max.
- Looking forward to: taking camera, going on scary holiday adventure; and pet two slobbery dogs; out in the barn, frolic with a small band of goats and pat a horse; oh, and eat dinner with a functional family.