I received the most amazing gift from the universe today.
BM, the TaskRabbit guy who I hired—for 2 hours to help me clean out the storage locker, pack and haul Philip’s things, and transfer items up and down between basement locker and apartment—had a huge, unexpected calming effect on me today. (And also, he was cute.)
Brady was so pleasant to work with, steady and gentle, worked efficiently and independently, attitude of happy to help, provided good advice when asked, he was respectable and friendly. His help was exactly what I needed after weeks of tense anxiety. His grounded presence had this calming effect on me. I think it was both him as a person and the relief of actually getting the panicking task done. For the remainder of the day, this is the most serene I’ve felt in forever. My body is trashed and aches from all the hard work to prep everything; yet today, I’m soaked in calm. It is scary not to know how long I can keep the relief. One worry is not knowing how surviving is framed.
Reflecting on the calm, I asked Claude, “do you think it was BM himself or is it simply because a bunch of work got done and having it be done is symbolic of a tiny bit of closure?” Claude returned, “His presence helped co-regulate your nervous system while you worked. This is an example of how much you need this kind of steady support.”
Work done:
- Locker organized
- PWS’s stuff moved
- Coffee table gone
- Tiny bit of closure
- Tangible progress
- Regular apartment trash and recycling taken out