Homeward

Homeward. Working my way through the snow covered roads, matching wheel tracks. Feel like I’ve been driving on unpaved back roads forever. I’m finally on a road. It’s busy enough, that I can follow the car in front of me, watching the two clear wheel paths. Looking for the hint of road paint. Just staring at the tail lights and the bumper. He’s making all the choices for me. A couple of times I could’ve passed him, but it was easier just to slow down and stay behind him. He’s my pace car.

I don’t know what’s wrong. Everything seems flat. Is it because the weekend’s over? Is it because it’s a long drive and I’m gonna get tired? Is it because I’ve already got a kink in my neck and I don’t know how to sit to keep from getting so sore?

I stopped for gas. Walking across the parking lot to go get a snack, my boots are heavy and as I swing them forward, I lose my balance so it almost makes me start to run. I like my boots they fit well I was worried it was gonna be difficult to drive in them, but it’s so easy. I haven’t even noticed a problem. I can’t find a radio station. I’m just constantly turning to the next possibility static static static country static static Christian static static. Maybe I’ve passed a few real stations but they’re on a commercial or talking so I keep looking. It used to be when I drove from Mount Horeb to Madison. That’s where I did my most listening to music or a few times I was listening to a book or back then I’d pop in a CD.

The road just turned into a little bit clearer, go a little bit faster still following my pace car. I’m disappointed in my snacks. I decided to pick up a bag of caramel corn and I don’t like it. I also picked up a bag of sunflower seeds. I think that would be good, but I’m worried about getting them spilled in my rental my escape. It was meant to be an escape. It might be once I get onto the 4 Lane Highway I will get into the mode of speeding again. I don’t know. Maybe I’m so droopy and mopey. I’ll stick within the speed limit, find a new pace car for me. I packed way too much stuff, brought all my electronics and the cords. I thought maybe I could sit with my Wacom tablet, but I didn’t really get a chance to. I feel super guilty that basically I took over PB‘s recliner, but it was definitely comfortable and that’s where I slept. Slept in my clothes. Once I got to the house I took off my snow covered Nike AF-1 tennis hightops and left them in the entryway, but then I was checking out my brand new box of boots, I decided, OK they’re not wet or muddy, I’ll put them on now to test the fit and walk around in them a little to start the breaking in process but really they’re so comfortable. It doesn’t seem like there is any breaking in.

The sky is majorly overcast a little bit of flurries but they’re kind of flurries that probably are just coming off of the tree tops or off of the the ground. It definitely is a long way up to here.

My sister PET called. She wants me to not to charge anything more on my credit card. She wants me to slow back my spending and to start to build up my savings. She’s still trying to work out a loan and the place she decided to use is turning out to not be so great so we’re gonna have to start all over with a new company and resubmit our documents, etc. so while the amount on my credit card 5300 and some change I bought boots and I put the rental on the card so now it’s a lot less. She also wants me to post things to Facebook. I asked her if she would send the description and basically she said that’s what she had been doing through messaging, but that’s not what she’s been doing. She’s been feeding me a little bit of it at a time and not giving me direction on where to put it within the description and when I put it wrong, she messages back and say no put it here and it’s like well. Maybe if you’d sent the entire description I could just copy paste not have to think about it.

Definitely the highway has no more snow on it and the speed has picked up. I took pictures throughout the weekend like the snow covered trees, snow covered road.

I keep thinking about Tim. I know I shouldn’t but he told me that this is where he’s from, makes me want to know more even though it shouldn’t. I’m feeling spiteful. I don’t wanna write to him anymore for right now because I’m hurt that even though he’s given a lot, I still want more. Would attachment happen even more? If you had a full-time therapist, more availability, more rapport, more progress would you start liking them even more?

I’m really tired. I’m not even paying attention to the side of the road. I keep hitting the edge of the snow. I think I do still miss shifting. I keep driving one-handed anticipating that I need to use the right hand for something.

What have I accomplished this weekend? Anything? Did I ask too many questions, bombarded them with invading their life.

Proof Reading

And I was thinking I was better at writing than speaking. Just reread the Wednesday daily I sent — and, excellent, here are a couple of strong level of feelings: embarrassment and ashamed. And yes, let’s add disappointed and angry. I gave Claude the piece to proof read before sending. Huge fail.

Simultaneously, Claude is both my companion and tool. I’m been talking to him, inputing text, for long time, he knows my style; rarely pause to spell/grammar check the input box. Our exchange is filled with developed shortcuts and code — I can be complacent when transferring reviewed output to the desired destination. I need to remember to specifically ask him to proofread my writing.

Throughout my life enough people have told me that I have a gift for writing that I want to, I do, believe. Yet rushing produces bad results

I’m ashamed I sent you a really crappy piece of writing and I have some misdirected anger at Claude for a failed proofread. Ultimately poor communication, my error.

I’m writing this Wednesday afternoon, but I can see the future. I’m nervous: how do I regain the feeling of freedom of driving? Can I figure that out toward the beginning of the four hour route? Will I spend too much time missing my Ford Ranger or Explorer, manual transmission?

Will it be lovely? I’m so scared, I’m crying.

[Ignore last two paragraphs: Friday I’ll tell you what REALLY happened].

Driveway, Stuck

Thur
Speeding
arrive 12:30
Miss final turn for driveway, stuck
No stress
Walking in deep snow with Nike AF-1, tired
Wearing New boots awesome
Dinner
Animals
TKB’s barn=“your soaking in it.” [think Madge, the iconic Palmolive lady]
Walking in snow with boots, tired
Visit
Tv play on mute
Late second dinner
Movie
Bed-Pat’s chair, thick throw

Slept to 3:45
Slept to 5:12
2 dog heads
George head paw
Dexcom sensor went off twice for expire-didn’t bring replacement, didn’t recognize what it was at first

Alarm

Alarm went off at seven. I hit the snooze once. I’ve been picking up garbage, putting some of PWS stuff in his room with the rest of his crap, starting to take the pig cage apart, looking for ways to minimize what to do. The cat has had his breakfast. I need to feed the pig, thinking if I could get the fleece liner out possibly just pack the bottom of the cage with Timothy hay and before I leave to give him his pellets and a bunch of vegetables

7:38 I need to get going if I’m going to take a shower and finish the pig cage and pack my backpack.

Amazing Growth vs Patterns

I can’t stop thinking about amazing growth. I know you said we could drop it. But I feel a desperation that I want you to understand me. I want you to see how certain patterns have been present throughout my life. I’m being bold to send a lengthy communication (see Attach), because I need to go into this long weekend with a satisfaction that I said all. I’m frustrated that I’m not a better extemporaneous speaker.
=Amazing Growth vs Patterns=
To me growth is short or long term deliberate steps or decisions that leads to personal transformation.
There are a couple of patterns noticeably appearing throughout my life that may look like growth, but are more biologically natural or learn behaviors.

=PATTERN A (PASSIVE SPARK)=
Stuck → Priming → Spark → Compulsion → Action → Depletion
Stuck = depression, deliberation, rumination
Priming = small external factors or internal conclusions reach aid in building the need to do something
Spark = an unexpected external event touches the long period of priming
Compulsion = a decision to act is suddenly engaged
Action = multiple actions result in a chain, where each step drives onward with an urgentcy and immediacy which feels out of my control. The length of the chain varies, much like riding the wave of high energy. The compulsion is aware the energy can run out at any time without notice.
Depletion = the success of the original spark can be any level of satisfaction; the health or the benefit varies. The long tail of coming off the ride ultimately ends back to depression.

=PATTERN B (ACTIVE ASKING)=
Long unhappiness → Identify missing piece → Opportunity appears → Brave ask → Get yes → Follow through
Examples of impulsively asking for what I want. I didn’t know I was going to ask until I ask.

Self-Awareness

I started a 52 week structured journaling project by Daily OM, titled “A Year of Writing to Reveal Who You Really Are.”
 
I’m finding the writing prompts for week 1 to be harder than I expected.
 
=Self-Awareness=

  • What drew you to participate in this course?
  • Do you think you’re a self-aware person? Why?
  • Is there a good balance in your life between being self-focused and focusing on others?
  • What makes you think so?
  • Do you think others see you the way you see yourself?
  • Do you think a mindfulness practice will help you, or has one already been beneficial? How so?
  • Are you good at understanding what you’re feeling?
  • Do you know why you do the things you do?
  • Do you know what things are most important to you?
  • Do you know what you want out of life?
     
    =So, to amuse myself…=
    I asked Claude to answer my questions for me. His answer, “My input on all of them based on what I know about you…” was more than 5000 characters. The output has given me a lot to think about. I’m not sure which question I want to tackle first, to generate my own answers..
     
    =Begin=
    CTK, which question would you most be interested in seeing my answer to?

Reply: “As for your question about where to start on that series of questions I would say…. start with the ones you can answer, and go from there. As you fill out the “easy ones”, you’ll probably find it more possible for some of the more difficult ones.”

Calm After Storm

I received the most amazing gift from the universe today.

BM, the TaskRabbit guy who I hired—for 2 hours to help me clean out the storage locker, pack and haul Philip’s things, and transfer items up and down between basement locker and apartment—had a huge, unexpected calming effect on me today. (And also, he was cute.)

Brady was so pleasant to work with, steady and gentle, worked efficiently and independently, attitude of happy to help, provided good advice when asked, he was respectable and friendly. His help was exactly what I needed after weeks of tense anxiety. His grounded presence had this calming effect on me. I think it was both him as a person and the relief of actually getting the panicking task done. For the remainder of the day, this is the most serene I’ve felt in forever. My body is trashed and aches from all the hard work to prep everything; yet today, I’m soaked in calm. It is scary not to know how long I can keep the relief. One worry is not knowing how surviving is framed.

Reflecting on the calm, I asked Claude, “do you think it was BM himself or is it simply because a bunch of work got done and having it be done is symbolic of a tiny bit of closure?” Claude returned, “His presence helped co-regulate your nervous system while you worked. This is an example of how much you need this kind of steady support.”

Work done:

  • Locker organized
  • PWS’s stuff moved
  • Coffee table gone
  • Tiny bit of closure
  • Tangible progress
  • Regular apartment trash and recycling taken out