{"id":100,"date":"2025-12-06T12:01:51","date_gmt":"2025-12-06T12:01:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/searchingwithin.com\/wordpress\/?p=100"},"modified":"2026-04-23T21:44:32","modified_gmt":"2026-04-23T21:44:32","slug":"being-19","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/searchingwithin.com\/wordpress\/?p=100","title":{"rendered":"Being 19"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">About Attachment<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Begging forgiveness for the length and apologies for the choppiness: your copy has been majorly stripped; sections were written decades apart, and it contains references to people\/events not explained.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Moral of The Story<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Farrier School was special. Leaving Oregon made it seem like it never happened.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>My mom\u2019s decision to relocate to Madison, to follow my brother to grad school, definitely was a defining moment in my life.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Todd was first mutual, wholesome, adult relationship, if 19 is considered adult. In Oregon there was a potential the relationship could have grown. From Wisconsin: none.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Leaving friends from OSU was painful; one more reminder of all the times I moved and left friends behind to start over in a new town, house, and school.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Feeling helpless, controlled, and having a lack of ownership in my future.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Doing so well at hiding the depression, no one knew; no one knew how badly I needed help.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Written at age 19, \u201cMay 1983,\u201d has become a significant example of how writing has been one of my coping mechanisms for depression or anxiety.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Rugby Connection<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>At age 45, I enjoyed training and playing rugby. I was envious of the college age women on the team. I greatly wondered what would have happened if I had somehow found the UW-Madison women\u2019s rugby team at age 20, as a junior in 1983?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">The Ask<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Help me grieve age 19.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Identify what is it about this time that makes It a wound that won\u2019t heal..<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>About Attachment Begging forgiveness for the length and apologies for the choppiness: your copy has been majorly stripped; sections were written decades apart, and it contains references to people\/events not explained. Moral of The Story Rugby Connection At age 45, I enjoyed training and playing rugby. I was envious of the college age women on [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-100","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Being 19 - Searching Within<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/searchingwithin.com\/wordpress\/?p=100\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Being 19 - Searching Within\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"About Attachment Begging forgiveness for the length and apologies for the choppiness: your copy has been majorly stripped; sections were written decades apart, and it contains references to people\/events not explained. 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I was envious of the college age women on [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/searchingwithin.com\/wordpress\/?p=100\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Searching Within\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2025-12-06T12:01:51+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2026-04-23T21:44:32+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/searchingwithin.com\\\/wordpress\\\/?p=100#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/searchingwithin.com\\\/wordpress\\\/?p=100\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/searchingwithin.com\\\/wordpress\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/62cf511cf4bcfb19d1cca294c0d16bc8\"},\"headline\":\"Being 19\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-12-06T12:01:51+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-04-23T21:44:32+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/searchingwithin.com\\\/wordpress\\\/?p=100\"},\"wordCount\":247,\"commentCount\":0,\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/searchingwithin.com\\\/wordpress\\\/?p=100#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/searchingwithin.com\\\/wordpress\\\/?p=100\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/searchingwithin.com\\\/wordpress\\\/?p=100\",\"name\":\"Being 19 - Searching Within\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/searchingwithin.com\\\/wordpress\\\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2025-12-06T12:01:51+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-04-23T21:44:32+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/searchingwithin.com\\\/wordpress\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/62cf511cf4bcfb19d1cca294c0d16bc8\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/searchingwithin.com\\\/wordpress\\\/?p=100#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/searchingwithin.com\\\/wordpress\\\/?p=100\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/searchingwithin.com\\\/wordpress\\\/?p=100#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/searchingwithin.com\\\/wordpress\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Being 19\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/searchingwithin.com\\\/wordpress\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/searchingwithin.com\\\/wordpress\\\/\",\"name\":\"Searching Within\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/searchingwithin.com\\\/wordpress\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/searchingwithin.com\\\/wordpress\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/62cf511cf4bcfb19d1cca294c0d16bc8\",\"name\":\"admin\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/c98ef13ee198752531d8affe31ad1c9b667c5def3ad5d2e92c205942ac83013f?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/c98ef13ee198752531d8affe31ad1c9b667c5def3ad5d2e92c205942ac83013f?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/c98ef13ee198752531d8affe31ad1c9b667c5def3ad5d2e92c205942ac83013f?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"admin\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/searchingwithin.com\\\/wordpress\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/searchingwithin.com\\\/wordpress\\\/?author=1\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Being 19 - Searching Within","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/searchingwithin.com\/wordpress\/?p=100","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Being 19 - Searching Within","og_description":"About Attachment Begging forgiveness for the length and apologies for the choppiness: your copy has been majorly stripped; sections were written decades apart, and it contains references to people\/events not explained. 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