{"id":123,"date":"2025-12-02T12:01:31","date_gmt":"2025-12-02T12:01:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/searchingwithin.com\/wordpress\/?p=123"},"modified":"2026-05-08T15:10:32","modified_gmt":"2026-05-08T15:10:32","slug":"wait-in-weights","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/searchingwithin.com\/wordpress\/?p=123","title":{"rendered":"Wait in Weights"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Family drama reprieve.<br>Spent time decluttering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Two point balance on core ball is so close. I fell hard recently. Smacked my good knee. Another time nearly cracked my head. Tuck and roll. I am stubborn and a risk taker. I can\u2019t stop. Compulsion towards success. Chasing possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Weight training. Nearly past the effectiveness of the 5# hand weights on most exercises. Fake shoulder needs more time. Impulse Amazon order of new pair of 10# &amp; 15# hand weights. These, as well, will be insufficient soon. Silly purchase. Apartment as home gym, impractical. Lack of full time trainer, unfeasible. I miss Kevin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Grief soaks in.<br>I don\u2019t know why I\u2019m doing this. I don\u2019t know why.<br>There is a tightly woven noose, I need you to help me untangle the knot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I sat with Max; soft petting until enough. He\u2019s off; gone. Then he did a famous sneak attack. FUCK, that HURT! Two deep punctures and a tooth racking. The holes are beading up blood, pools, runs. Fascination; enjoying sitting with the pain. Something better than numb confusion. Maybe he knew I needed the distraction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Decade of my kid farm experience meant you don\u2019t wash, don\u2019t add ointment, don\u2019t add gauze. I\u2019ve lived that way my whole life. Bite has coagulated. See? No need to get up from chair. Left arm is marked up Max bites and scratches. Sneak attacks are part of life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Apartment main area strewn with workout gear. Why? What\u2019s the purpose?<br>Unattainable goals. Loneliness. Not about living longer.<br>I don\u2019t want to do this anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Family drama reprieve.Spent time decluttering. Two point balance on core ball is so close. I fell hard recently. Smacked my good knee. Another time nearly cracked my head. Tuck and roll. I am stubborn and a risk taker. I can\u2019t stop. Compulsion towards success. Chasing possible. Weight training. Nearly past the effectiveness of the 5# [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-123","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Wait in Weights - Searching Within<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/searchingwithin.com\/wordpress\/?p=123\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Wait in Weights - Searching Within\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Family drama reprieve.Spent time decluttering. Two point balance on core ball is so close. I fell hard recently. Smacked my good knee. Another time nearly cracked my head. Tuck and roll. I am stubborn and a risk taker. I can\u2019t stop. Compulsion towards success. Chasing possible. Weight training. 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