TK asked recently, \u201chow often do you think of him.\u201d Today I was triggered.
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Simply pouring a cup of milk reminds me of a day of putting away groceries. As he was placing a gallon jug of milk into the refrigerator door shelf. I asked him to adjust the orientation. He wanted to know why, and I said, “My wrist hurts a lot less if the jug is in that position.” He proceeded to explain how he thought a different position would be more advantageous, and I stood there with my mouth open, finally saying, “No, I have established that this position is the best one for me.” He proceeded to want to question my evaluation or decision. Finally, I just had to sternly say, “Do it this way.” To a phantom roommate today, I’m saying in my head, “My apartment, my refrigerator, my groceries, my decision. I shouldn’t have to show you my research that proved that this position in the door shelf is the best one for decreasing the pain in my wrist when lifting a full gallon of milk.\u201d
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How do I stop the trigger that results in explaining to a phantom how I want things to be?
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I\u2019m looking at my phone multiple times a day anticipating a message requesting to grab stuff from the storage locker.
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I missed a text the other day saying he wanted to pick up one specific item. I reply, \u201cWhen would you like to stop by? I just got your message now.\u201d However, he did not reply. More than a day has passed.
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Waiting. Just waiting.
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And no more bike fantasies. Questioning my ability to adjust seat height.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
TK asked recently, \u201chow often do you think of him.\u201d Today I was triggered.\u00a0Simply pouring a cup of milk reminds me of a day of putting away groceries. As he was placing a gallon jug of milk into the refrigerator door shelf. I asked him to adjust the orientation. He wanted to know why, and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-132","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n