Extremely afraid that whatever growth, amazing growth, progress that I’m making, perhaps will cause my growth admirers to expect all growth to happen at the same rate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Took today off. Even after multiple days since vacation and holiday, I am struggling to be productive at work. Luckily my history of being incredibly productive and efficient lets me hide in my non-productivity. I’m experiencing a lot of guilt for not being able to maintain my high standard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’m sad that Tim doesn’t see my worst. Perhaps just telling him and him just knowing it exists is good enough. But he never gets to hear or see or know that after I get off the phone from a session that there’s a bit of a crash. I have to concentrate hard to find things to do, distracting myself from the dark depression.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Today\u2019s focus is the misplaced check from CarMax. I\u2019ve conducted a search of about 80-90%. JC, lack of feeling, is confident it will turn up. I’m worried that the massive apartment clean and reorganization caused accidentally thrown out. I realized there are basically two choices: Call CarMax and ask for replacement – feelings: scary-guilty-stupid; or, just add the $150 to the overall net loss – easiest, financially unwise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Turns out what happens about the lost check is not the most important. A deep dive into what’s really going on is the wish for somebody to say, \u201cWow this must be rebringing up all those feelings about the car and PWS. Whatever you decide to do about the check will be okay.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Extremely afraid that whatever growth, amazing growth, progress that I’m making, perhaps will cause my growth admirers to expect all growth to happen at the same rate. Took today off. Even after multiple days since vacation and holiday, I am struggling to be productive at work. Luckily my history of being incredibly productive and efficient […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-160","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-growth"],"yoast_head":"\n