{"id":202,"date":"2026-02-18T00:02:24","date_gmt":"2026-02-18T00:02:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/searchingwithin.com\/wordpress\/?p=202"},"modified":"2026-05-17T09:52:37","modified_gmt":"2026-05-17T14:52:37","slug":"day-19-90-4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/searchingwithin.com\/wordpress\/?p=202","title":{"rendered":"Day 19 = 90.4%"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I had multiple count downs across devices to help ease the passage of time; re: absence of Tim. I survived the holiday break. But living through one difficulty doesn\u2019t mean a near identical one is easy. Another stretch dealing of absence of Tim. I set up a count down timer app on my iPhone. I manually entered count down numbers as events every day on my calendars at home and work. Reasoning: better to just embrace that I will be wanting the data often. Better to forge the truth than recalculate nearly everyday: when will this end, what has passed, and how far is yet to go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Funny how two consecutive days would have completely opposite anxiety. Checking the count on one day was peaceful and benign. Yet the next day there was lots of anxiety: a need for breathing and squashing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perhaps the most helpful tool was abandoning the traditional calendar all together. Instead I had a simple notepad where each line was an event so several days had multiple line items. A perpetual day view. Highlighting similar activities; calculating not just the day of the count but the percentage of how far I’d survived.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For work, I requested the next six weeks of Fridays to be vacation days. My supervisor asked if I was making a permanent schedule change or merely using up carryover leave. I answered \u201cusing up.\u201d He had no concerns.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have an incredible amount of time banked: vacation, sick, and sabbatical. Why no thoughts of something I want to do with all that paid leave? Tim can\u2019t be the plan.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I had multiple count downs across devices to help ease the passage of time; re: absence of Tim. I survived the holiday break. But living through one difficulty doesn\u2019t mean a near identical one is easy. Another stretch dealing of absence of Tim. I set up a count down timer app on my iPhone. 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