Waited perhaps six months for conducting my home sleep test. Picking up the kit, reading the directions, and connecting all the contact points was easy. Following the vet’s approved cat preparation, i.e., how to reduce Max interference, involved two pokes down the throat with sedatives. No biting nor scratching resulted. 🙂
Biggest disappointment was the key component of doing a sleep test is to actually sleep. Most of the night was filled with wakefulness.
Fun fact: a drugged sleeping cat is heavier than a normal sleeping cat.
On the way back from dropping off the sleep test kit, I took a few moments for the first act of making the Escape dashboard and controls mine. Feedback to Ford: the instructions for fixing the clock belongs in the quick start guide. However, that information is not there. Switching to the owners manual and taking a glance at the index: c for Clock? Apparently the time control is not indexed as Clock and clock is not time. I now see: you must know that clock is categorized as a setting. Read the steps and three boops later, I have sprung ahead.
I suppose now that I’m all grown up with a “real” vehicle, I should drive—as instructed—to the apartment management office to pick up my own parking permit hang tag and garage door remote. I suppose it is silly to ask them to drop the items off when I do have personal transportation. Suddenly “drive self” means calculating how and where to park at destinations.
The metaphorical shifting sands of change have affected schedules and roles. The literal shifting has affected balance. Literal is hurting the worse.
The difference a day makes. One day is not singular, the truth commands to three. Two are gone. Keep the third by invoking the sneaky shortcut: send late when the monitoring is done.
When passengers switch to owners… suddenly navigator becomes the prime role that needs a quick tutorial. The hyper-vigilant scanning the road and surrounding areas becomes exhausting. I want a better, personalized, chain for the bulky fob and regular keys.
My last vehicle had manual window cranks. “Pull up, push down” is the mantra now to remember how to run the window controls. Up and down means close and open. Similar to the scrolling direction on the computer, specifically, the “natural” vs. “traditional” setting.
The play: test the core ball with the sand stabilization feature. The first conclusion, stay off the unfamiliar and untrained until the near cracked ribs can heal. Rubberized safety surfacing does not create bounce.
Ford Escape, with license plates attached. Insurance acquired.
Princeton Club membership established.
First weight training session completed on the main floor.
The Bad
Resistance pool closed for the day due to mechanical upgrades.
Still waiting for the garage parking permit and garage door opener
The Ugly
Ironic development – While using a different style core ball at the club, took a hard spill and bruised my left front ribs. Deep breathing, sneezing, and certain movements are quite painful.
Tim said that sometimes it needs to simply start with putting on your shoes.
Saturday morning. I’m putting on my AF-1. Packing my gym bag, in order to escape to the club of princes on a ruby red mechanical mount of 2018 forging (just 255 gold pieces per moon—only one key to the kingdom). This mount snacks on garbage/recycling so I must juggle carrying my own bags with an offering before I depart the cave to start my morning journey. I will need to speak to… the Guildmaster? Not the bar keep. Someone qualified to accept my pledge of circular water worship.
Step 1. Escape. Step 2. Membership. Step 3. Go and go and go. Than step 6, 7, and 8 continuing to the unknown…
Maybe what is missing is the clear definition of the why. Not just a fluffy, whiny, wishful rant. Instead I need the mature, well thought out why am I doing this and what does it look like? Would it be measured in: number of hours walked, number of days workout completed, body fat percentage change, ability to get out of the kayak without help?
What would my tiny experiment look like? At a minimum, go once weekly for a month to West side and go once monthly to New Berlin for 3 months?
I watched Tim do an impromptu show-and-tell. Immediately I knew that I want Tim to make me an award medallion. I don’t know yet what it would look like or the circumstances for earning one. But can you just hand over a drawing or must you have all the parameters and specs of something written in a special 3D language code?
2018 Ruby Red Ford Escape. 75 months, $254.73 per month, beginning April 20th. 6.99% annual percentage rate. $510 cash down. Amount financed: $15397.80 with UW Credit Union. Lots and lots of months. Added on the warranty, can drop anytime. First payment in 45 days. First 3 oil changes free? Decision made.
Some mystery reason Summit would not extend a loan, something about still owning money. Is it possible they had me mixed up with my brother?
Next choice: 1 year or 2 fitness center contract. The 2 year is less per month.
::: growling like a Rottweiler:::
Even single swirl requires new expression of self confidence and agency.
First questions include:
How do I listen to Pandora from the car?
What is the easiest and safest way to make notes in the car?
What iPhone holder will fit best in the car?
Home late. Tired. Feed the pets. Max and Badger have no idea their life has changed. But really has it?
The depression is not just in you—it’s around you. You’re walking through it, you’re breathing it. And there’s only one key.
Song playing in my head: Somebody That I Used to Know, Gotye, 2011.
Complete the entire book, Beyond Belief by Nir Eyal. As a book summary, three blocks of text offered…
Ask yourself
Attention
Where is your focus right now and is it aligned with what truly matters to you?” What have you refused to see about yourself, your relationships, and your life’s path because shifting your view feels uncomfortable? Could trying on the opposite belief reveal a portfolio of perspectives? Might one of those alternatives serve you better than the belief you currently cling to?
Anticipation
What future are you expecting for yourself and who decided that path? Are you holding on to pain needlessly? How are you letting fear color your worldview? What becomes possible if you expect discovery instead of disappointment?
Agency
What’s been holding you back? Are you letting life’s invariable chaos energize you or drain you? Are you taking action to change yourself and help those around you? Or are you waiting for the world to adjust to your liking? What is the one step you could take today to prove to yourself that you have more control than you think?
===
Don’t have answers to all. I do know I don’t have a good grip on understanding giving self credit and embracing the meaning of success.
At 11:05 p.m. I’m thinking about the message from Tim, sent March 2 at 4:06 PM: Is staying up the whole night/calling in sick… is this part of a manic episode for you, or is it something else?
