Last Sunday, email from Philip about $35. Nearly had a meltdown. That devastated, depressed feeling. Felt like I had no one to talk to for advice. Can I wait until Friday or can I solve this myself, on my own. What should I write? What should I do? I asked myself what would I be told. Do forthright communication. I thought I did that. I didn’t realize my opening, “Wow. Thanks for asking.” was not the most mature. I thought I did make it clear in the body of my email what I wanted to happen. Hearing that my reply was basically petty, totally compounded the lost feeling. I didn’t understand all the questions Tim asked about what happens next.
Talking about the ask for money was not meant to be forgotten. It was on the list; just didn’t have the list for reference. I was confident that the topic just needed to be reported, not discussed. I felt scolded—that I’ve done the Philip in the last few minutes pattern before. Maybe he is a topic that can take an entire session; but, that is not how I want to spend my time. Especially since the next step is based on whether or not Philip replies.
I hate how, no matter how much “validation provided for efforts” happens, I feel like I failed raising Philip. And this week, I didn’t know how to answer. And then my reply was less than perfect. And I was accused of dropping a bomb end of session. So is that one more flaw for not putting Philip as a topic at the top of my list?
All I really wanted was to hear that I handled $ ask correctly.
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