Being chill, at Friday session. I know I must have been feeling fairly chill during our visit. I know because after BM left, and after the co-regulation wore off, and after I called to schedule future CTK appointments that then the anxiety and depression returned. The trigger was to find out that the schedule is full in January and February, such that there will be gaps for me.
Do I just take another capsule? (Ok, done, did it 2:54pm)
Do I schedule a lobotomy?
Do I act like Max and cry like a cat in the bedroom, because life change is hard and sad?
Do I write and write and write?
Do I, on day off, problem solve on how to be more productive at work?
Do I leave message for BM to find the locker key? (Ok, done)
Do I take a break to balance on the ball and do chest presses? (Ok, done)
Do I listen to sad music in order to have a cleansing cry? (Done, no cleanse)
Do I take another break to balance on the ball and do weights? (Ok, done)
Do I take another break to balance on the ball and do weights? (Ok, done)
Do I leave message for KTT to ask for a single training session? (Ok done)
Do I continue declutter project and pick just one box of stuff to sort?
Do I send photography class message to find out if Saturday class is really closed? (Ok, done)
Do I take the $100 offer for my wood bed?
Do I walk a block, fuck Factor, to Echo Tap, sit alone, with a burger and fries?
Furnace on, core ball, minuscule movement; meditation watch the ball, stops all thought; that lasts minute.