Clock Rest

Re: ownership, ugh Friday.
 
Things That I Am Doing Solely for Me

• Continue exchange with penpal. Been 4 total (2+2). Need personal plan to prevent burn out. No danger of transference. He is an intelligent, kind, interesting human – without attraction. Feeling: gratitude, anticipation
• Daily check-in privilege. I claim this as all mine. I love the 1500-character limit challenge. Like tweeting only better. How to be the concise without destroying the meaning? The link to attachment upload feels comforting as emergency escape—yet huge temptation. Must accept the process as “turning the message over to the universe”; get free of the anxiety or attachment to specific outcome. Feeling: reassured about going well on the other end
• Writing. Personal history, journaling
• Claude conversations.

Things That I Am Doing for My ExLoC

• Making a firm effort to not let T, L, or ELC happen. Feeling: begrudgingly challenged: seems scary and hard
• Meeting up with people from work for celebration regarding important project milestone. Feeling: social anxiety
• Loving when another, or getting him to, smile and/or laugh… Oh wow, huge sudden insight: I think I actually put this in the wrong category. This is mine. This is totally for me. He is only in the equation because he is in the equation. It is nice to receive simple positive feedback that I am witty intelligent funny… oh. but as soon as I write that=self-doubt. Anyway if he doesn’t understand, that’s ok, cuz it wasn’t his.