==Moral of The Story==
1. Farrier School was special. Leaving Oregon made it seem like it never happened.
2. My mom’s decision to relocate to Madison, to follow my brother to grad school, definitely was a defining moment in my life.
3. Todd was first mutual, wholesome, adult relationship, if 19 is considered adult. In Oregon there was a potential the relationship could have grown. From Wisconsin: none.
4. Leaving friends from OSU was painful; one more reminder of all the times I moved and left friends behind to start over in a new town, house, and school.
5. Feeling helpless, controlled, and having a lack of ownership in my future.
6. Doing so well at hiding the depression, no one knew; no one knew how badly I needed help.
7. Written at age 19, “May 1983,” has become a significant example of how writing has been one of my coping mechanisms for depression or anxiety.
==Rugby Connection==
At age 45, I enjoyed training and playing rugby. I was envious of the college age women on the team. I greatly wondered what would have happened if I had somehow found the UW-Madison women’s rugby team at age 20, as a junior in 1983?
==The Ask==
1. Help me grieve age 19.
2. Identify what is it about this time that makes It a wound that won’t heal.